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:iconakwala:
I thought I was getting this until the last stanza -- learning of the WoW reference makes me unsure, since I'm not familiar with it. Still, I like the thread of nostalgia woven through evolving gadgetry and the clumsiness associated with it, the sensuality involving IM, and the follies of youth. There's often comfort in the mundane memories of the paths we took to reach where we are today.

The title does lead but, without it, "she" may be a mystery. Not knowing the problem you have with the title, I can't say much about it; it seems fine to me.
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Comments


:iconcornerstoneascetic:
Thank you, I think your critique is very generous. The WoW reference probably is a bit too specific, but it's just to keep the technological ties going. That and runecloth seemed like a really unique word at the time. It doesn't have any major impact on the meaning of the final stanza, at least not intentionally.

I played WoW for about two years, and was playing at the time this was written, but have quit since then. Perhaps a less specific reference would make things more accessible to those who haven't played or aren't playing. How about plain old "blankets" instead of runecloth?
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:iconakwala:
I'd work WoW into the stanza/poem.

Also, the last stanza now seems a bit of a non-sequitur, or an abrupt end. The transition from the past to the present feels like a sudden transformation, kinda detached from the rest; I couldn't see beyond the mere facts mentioned.

--
--aslam
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:iconcornerstoneascetic:
maybe it would be best to just drop the last stanza?
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:iconakwala:
I think a transition to the present makes the poem richer...actually, without a sense of what the "old friend" is to you today, or has left you with, the nostalgia is not very interesting.

Of course, that's my reading, it has much to do with what I bring to it. You need to be satisfied with what it says and its completeness -- perhaps step away from it for a while if you've been staring at it too long.

--
--aslam
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:iconcornerstoneascetic:
Yea, it might be best to come back later for the finale. But for now, I like it better without the final stanza. I'll just let it stand. Thanks for all the great feedback, I'll have to take a closer look at your pieces sometime soon. =)
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